Hello, my name is Chris Benshoof. It's pronounced Benshoff. Thanks a lot, Germany.

I'm a computer programmer and consequently I've written a number of computer programs over the years. Most are big and written for pay but it's the smaller ones written for myself that I think are interesting. Not being one for self-promotion, insobriety aside, these personal programs have gotten virtually no exposure. In order to even hear about them we’d need to be sharing a home, office, or pitcher of Pabst. That's probably for the best as they're geared towards a pretty specific and possibly eccentric audience, but it would be nice if someone besides me could get something out of them.

Whenever I'm done figuring out some computerish thing I fire up a text editor and write myself a note. Few things are as frustrating and humbling as learning something again from scratch, so these notes are desperate sandbags against time and forgetting. Written quickly and informally, they work, but there are limitations to the format. And again, it seems a shame that they only help me.

Now I find myself with a heap of programs and a grip of notes. Pawing through them I see an eclectic body of work, work that in theory other programmers might find interesting. Most of it is grounded in Windows programming but who knows, maybe someone out there still does that. Worst case scenario, it's comic relief for everyone else.

So here's the plan: I'm going to write about my programs and how they were built while wandering into ancillary note topics at the drop of a hat. This could take a while, but that's okay. I have the time. Besides, what's the worst that can happen? A little pretentious technical writing infused with awkward hip hop references ain't never hurt nobody.